I treated myself to an easy review with this one, as well as a guaranteed personal jack-off session because as everybody knows, when it comes to hot sex, it’s the slut factor that brings the heat and you can’t get any hotter or any sluttier than those 30-something MILF’s with the cock-craving attitude that they bring to the set and the way their body language yells for sex in a way that no other group of actresses in porn can do.
Now I know, the superstitious people among you readers of this review will say “I knew it, I could have told you, after all it’s number 13.” and yes, you would have been correct because the slut factor of MILF’s aside, this movie was kinda disappointing in that it did not live up to it’s potential.
MILTF 13 has the key ingredients for a rock-hard jack-off flick…I mean, for Christ’s sakes they’ve even got MILF superslut Vicky Vette, but when I watch a movie of a milf fuck fest I expect that I will also get to see some hot MILF-on-MILF action as well as a demonstration of full-on sluttiness as at least one of the MILF’s in the movie take on more than one cock.
This one just had standard yet admittedly highly sexual action, but it’s lack of the frills that make for the extra thrills when you shoot your load to a movie gives it only a disappointing three cocks-up.
Shavin Starlets 3
A lot of people, especially with today’s American government, claim that porn and free speech are being repressed. It’s movies like Shavin Starlets 3 that show us the parallels between current American politics and porn. Back in the 80’s in both porn and politics; Bush was in, and the more bush you had the better. Now people don’t want to see Bush anymore. Personally I think people should just count themselves lucky that they haven’t had to see Barbara Bush in porn.
Shavin Starlets 3 has some pretty freakin hot pornstars and they, as well as being exhibitionistic getting it on in front of the camera, also seem to really groove on shavin down their pubes for your viewing pleasure. As well as the moderately kinky spectacle of getting to watch some beaver being bushwhacked, the sex itself is hot throughout the show cos these chicks can handle cock just as well as they can handle a razor.
For any squares out there who have always wondered what the appeal of shaven pussy is; Shavin Starlets 3 lets you see that with a trimmed quim, there is oh so much more TO see. The slick wetness, the spreading pussy lips while these chicks play with themselves or fuck cock…all displayed in that much more vividness, and definitely answering the question of why shaved is better in porn. I’m not a big shaving buff in that I dig watching a chick shave her pussy, but I do appreciate a coiffed quiff and doubly appreciate sexy sluts fucking on film.
Shavin Starlets 3 has all this and more and earns itself a very strong throbbing three cocks-up.
40+ and Hummin
Variety is the spice of life and 40+ and Hummin is spicier than ten-alarm deep Texas chili. The one good thing about age on chicks who dig sex is that their sluttier ways end up being some old babes who will never end up feeling useless and discarded. There is always use for a chick who gives a good blowjob and from what I hear there are some dudes who prefer toothless grannies anyway.
Nine nymphomaniac scenes show us a wide age-range of cock-craving women who are the north side of forty and (thankfully) the south side of seventy. Porn like this is so cool, not so much for the porn as for the communal nature of these movies. A bunch of former babes who can’t get laid anymore the way they like it unless they pay for it end up getting paid to be fucked hard the way they want to be and the producers are able to make a nice piece of coin because while the esthetics may not be so cool on these nymphos we do enjoy seeing any type of babe who likes sex and knows how to suck and fuck.
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With an age-range from early forties to early sixties we see that sex is one thing you never forget how to do and maybe while watching this movie you get to pick up a few new tricks. After all you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but maybe an old dog can teach you one or two.
Because I’m in a generous mood, 40+ and Hummin gets three cocks-up.
Older Women Younger Men 9
Experience is definitely an asset in Older Women Younger Men 9…for the wanton women featured in what for some of them might be their final fling in porn. (or maybe it should be even if it isn’t) This movie is very much a young porn fan’s wet dream come true, and even stars porn sensation of the past, Amber Lynn, showing us that fifteen years later she can still ring the bells.
Older Women Younger Men 9 explores the world of milf fantasies from both sides as these young dudes get ’seduced’ by these cougars on the prowl. Innocent and innocuous situations lead to sizzling sex in a brilliant matching of male and female libidos at their peak. These well-seasoned milfs make the most of this opportunity to show us that they still have ‘it’ (and the heat factor is high enough that for most of them I agree that they don’t need to be put to pasture yet and can still chew cum awhile before it’s time to just chew cud). As for the actors, it gives them a chance to show their stuff as well and make the most of it giving these professional pussies thrill after thrill.
The slut factor in Older Women Younger Men 9 combined with the chance to see a cock-pro like Amber Lynn in action again gets this movie four hard cocks-up.
Lesbo Sluts in Heat
Buckle in for a sapphic slut safari as some of the most nymphed out chicks I’ve seen in porn totally get it on with each other, and if you are trying to talk your chick into either checking out some toys, or even checking out some girl-on-girl action of her own, Lesbo Sluts in Heat is totally going to encourage her to do so when she sees these sluts enjoying soaking explosive orgasms, one after another…the kind your girlfriend only dreams about in the type of dreams that make her feel sweaty and guilty after.
Seriously man…the chicks in Lesbo Sluts in Heat are chicks who totally get off getting it on, and they make up for the lack of cock with some very skillful dildo and vibrator use, driving each other into some incredibly freakin loud and wet orgasms. Nor do these sluts limit themselves in usage of location as they show you that any room or place is a good place for a couple hot chicks to get it on together, and they also do not limit themselves to it just being a couple of hot chicks.
The sex in Lesbo Sluts in Heat was fucking hot, I’m sure that these chicks aren’t lesbos though, and at times I could swear I could just see in their eyes that they were craving cock doing some of these fuck scenes.
Lesbo Sluts in Heat gets four cocks-up and proves once again that girls just wanna have fun.
Totally Asian and 18
If you’ve ever been to the mall on the weekend you’ve probably seen gangs of teen Asian chicks hanging around excitedly chattering into their cells, giggling about boys and whining about all that ‘girl stuff’ to each other, and usually very loudly. If you’re like me, then that kind of thing makes your skin crawl and drives you totally nuts. There’s nothing worse than a group of girls who can’t shut the fuck up and be quiet for two shakes, especially when they’re sexy and could be using their mouths for way better purposes than annoying the hell out of weekend shoppers like me.
Totally Asian and 18 brings us some of these types of chicks, but in a totally different setting (thank fuck) and I must say they’re not quite as irritating with their mouths stuffed full of cock, tho the action could definitely have been hotter than it was. The sex was okay…nothing special though, that ‘zing’ factor was definitely missing from this movie.
We get three average scenes that you’ll probably enjoy if you’re into asian chicks…there’s fucking and sucking outdoors…sexy petite bodies in stockings and suspenders…mutual masturbation that turns into a somewhat hot lesbo scene when one chick pulls out a big pink strap-on to fuck the other with. The movie finishes with a threesome when one of these asian babes grabs two well-hung dudes for a double pounding scene that makes the movie.
Totally Asian and 18, tho not really my bag, was hot enough to score three stiff cocks-up.
Teachers Pet 07
They say chicks go crazy for guys who have power, money, good looks or intelligence (so having all four must be a killer combination). In Teachers Pet 07 we’re shown some super-charged examples of the latter; lusting after their brainiac Professor turns these hot college babes into total sluts willing to do whatever their idol wants or needs. This dude is fucking awesome man, he’s got all these crazily hot chicks totally eating out of his hands and doing whatever he wants…bringing him apples, feeding him their melons and sharing lots of creamy tuna pie…
Four fucktastic scenes filled with hardcore hot steamy sex all the way through, and featuring some nubile nympho talent who lust after both kinds of head, the brains and the brawn, as well as a spicy threesome thrown in for good measure, all adds up to a stellar porno with some rock-hard responses on this end.
Teachers Pet 07 can definitely teach you a thing or two about how to pick up those sultry younger sluts and have them hanging on your every word…just show em your brains and they’ll show you everything you want to see.
Total fuck-fun to be had with this movie, so it gets a throbbing three and a half cocks-up. It would’ve earned more if it’d had more threesome action.
Panty World 11
Yawn…oh it’s over ? Thank God. Panty World 11 has to be one of the most boring porn movies I have ever seen, and for the life of me if the first ten was like this, I cannot possibly imagine how they managed to make it to eleven. Personally though I can’t really understand the whole panty fetish anyway…I’m guessing the people who have this fetish are the same people that when they were young and they opened their birthday and Christmas gifts, ignored the toys and spent their day playing with the box or the wrapping paper it came in. As for me I don’t care how the chick is wrapped, I just wanna unwrap her and get down to business.
If you are the type of dude or chick who is into checking out panties, and chicks in their underwear as opposed to chicks in the buff then fast forward the movie to the third scene cos it’s the best of the bunch with some voyeurism and trippy lighting and double the hot chicks as two tasty looking sluts go down on each other, and yeah I gotta admit, what they’re wearing is pretty fucking hot…though they do look hotter after it’s off. But if you’re digging the whole lingerie scene, at least in this scene you get double the chicks and therefore double the lingerie.
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The heat and intensity of that scene almost makes up for the time wasted in the rest of the movie and I pretty much guarantee that the smoldering wetness these two babes generate is enough to blow your load so you don’t need the rest of the movie anyway.
One cock-up for one awesome scene to Panty World 11.
American Cocksuckin Championship 3
Summer Olympics are coming, but yknow every Olympics since 1984 the viewing audience and pre-Olympic hype has been dwindling. Some people figure this is a result of social and political unrest throughout the world being mirrored through International events.
Take for example all the bullshit about the Olympics being in China…for Christ’s sakes the Olympics is supposed to be free of political bullshit. Now assume that these people are wrong…then why are less people watching these events ? Answer: Because people nowadays get bored easily and need sensationalism in what they watch. So to save the Olympics for future generations we need to introduce events like this.
Slut versus slut is the name of the game in this display of fellatio skills. I have no idea how they judged it, but by the looks of the lucky dudes who got their cocks sucked none of them had anything to complain about and they all judged it as mighty fine. These babes all gobble cock like it is what they were created for doing, and they enjoy showing off that they have the skills to work more than one fuckstick at a time. The sluttiness of these chicks as they gobble down the sausage is a guaranteed jack-off load waiting to be shot while watching them.
My only complaint with American Cocksuckin Championship 3 is that with this many sluts and all of that cock they could’ve taken it further and had it been a gangbang championship instead.
Four cocks-up for American Cocksuckin Championship 3.
Farmer Daughters Do Vegas
This is a movie that frankly doesn’t live up to the enticement in the title. I hear Farmer Daughters Do Vegas and I think orgies in casino’s and slutty fuck clubs where sweet virginal and naive farm-girls get debauched and end up becoming sluts that take on the whole city of Las Vegas. In this vision of what I should be watching, Farmer Daughters Do Vegas totally let me down, and the amount of time I had to spend fast-forwarding through inane conversations delivered with nauseating acting does not leave this movie listed as one of my favorites…it didn’t totally suck, but it totally did not live up to expectations.
Once you get the hang of fast-scanning until you see the clothes come off the movie improves…I mean these chicks are babes and totally know how to fuck and suck…in the words of Wayne from Wayne’s World, “They would give a dog a bone”. These are actresses that love cock but unfortunately once again this is another aspect in which an otherwise lengthy porn movie fell short of it’s potential.
I have seen these chicks in enough flicks to know that they love pussy as much as they love cock…hell, they just love sex period.
C’mon guys, next time get some hot clit-on-clit rubbing happening with babe juices flowing onto each other. Two cocks-up based on the heat of the sex that there was for Farmer Daughters Do Vegas.
