Five or six weeks ago I did a movie review similar to Role Model…I forget what it was called; The probable reason I don’t remember the title is because it wasn’t a memorable movie and fell short of the expectations we have for higher quality porn. Thankfully even though Role Model follows the same premise and does fall short in some ways, it is good enough that if you’re looking for decent hardcore sex to jack off to…or if you and the missus are looking for something to add a touch of spice by watching some hot porn then Role Model is certainly good enough for that.
First off I have to say kudos to the guys behind this movie on finding seven stunning sluttily sexy seductresses of this quality to star in one movie. The whole ‘Big Brother’, ‘Real World’ reality porn tv feel was a little annoying but hey maybe that’s just me some people really dig those kind of shows or they wouldn’t keep making them and while I’m not a fan of those shows I do have to say that I think those shows could definitely be improved to the point I would watch them if they did like Role Model and had a couple hours worth of xxx hardcore house sex added to their script writing. While as I said the chicks are stunningly hot and slutty, I think that they were short-sold on their sluttiness in that there should have been a house-orgy. Like some big party where everyone goes nuts….oh well…regardless of numbers the sex itself is super hot as these chicks show how much they like being filmed and how much they love being filmed when fucking. Three solid cocks-up for Role Model.
To Bi or Not To Bi
So it’s that time of the year again when I turn to the darker nature of porn and pull out a bisexual title to review for you folks. I never know if I’ll luck out and get two hot chicks and a guy all fucking each other, or if it’ll be another guy guy chick flick. Well Lady Luck was out whoring it up with Mother Nature (that’s one hot milf!) last night so inevitably To Bi or Not To Bi fell into the latter category and so I settled in for three thrustful scenes of guy-guy-chick action, hoping to catch something to jack it to but not expecting too much.
To Bi or Not To Bi starts off with some totally twinkie looking guy hanging with some other older guy on a couch…how this bleached blonde twink didn’t know he was at least leaning to bisexuality is beyond me, he looks like the kind of guy who’d take loads in his ass and all over his face with pleasure. We get the typical guy fucking or licking the hot slut taking two guys at once and then some bi-oral scenes and even some ass-fucking. I’ll give it it’s due, there was a lot of action in To Bi or Not To Bi, so if this is how you get your thrills you’ll definitely enjoy the plentiful fuck scenes in this movie. All in all it had some hot sex that did turn me on so To Bi or Not To Bi scores an adequate three cocks-up.
Teach Me How To Fuck
Ahhh a movie that reminds me of my younger milf-hunting days when as an 18 year old I would tell these women that I was an inexperienced virgin and wanted them to teach me and show me how to be an excellent lover…it worked so many times and probably would work even better nowadays. The makers of Teach Me How To Fuck use the same formula in this movie with some sluts who obviously either already know what they are doing and pretend that they don’t have experience or are just natural fuck stars of the future and when they do have more real experience are going to be the Michael Jordans of the bedroom games.
Whether it’s enjoying whatever cock is put in front of these babe’s faces, enjoying exploring each others pussies or getting double stuffed by a couple cocks these chicks love sex and the more you watch the more you realize that there is no freakin way that these sluts are just learning the ropes but hey with action as hot as this they can say whatever the hell they want as long as they keep putting out. My only problem with Teach Me How To Fuck is that for the most part these chicks have next to no tits and I hope that if they stay in porn (cos they are hot and slutty enough to make it in this biz) they invest in some tit jobs for future movies. Three very solid spurting cocks-up for Teach Me How To Fuck.
The Annihilation Of Summer
What happens to porn stars who have been around for awhile but are starting to lose the fight against time ? Well if they are as slutty and sex-crazed as Summer Cummings they end up on both sides of the camera and try their hand at producing as well as starring in their own movies. Like what Kevin Costner does except they are actually often successful at it. The secret to their success is quite simple really…after so many years and so many hundreds of movies chicks like Summer know what people want to see and know what sells…it is rampantly apparent in your pants after even the first few movies that she brought that knowledge, heat and intensity as well as some of her favorite girlfriends to The Annihilation Of Summer.
This has got to be one of the hottest chick on chick flicks I’ve ever seen and the way these sapphic sluts go up, down, in and out of each other it’s probably safe to say that they have played around together off the camera as well as on and for any of you squirting fans out there you wont be disappointed as these babes have some of the wettest orgasms you will ever see. If this is annihilation I’m sure that every woman out there wants to be annihilated like Summer. The final group action scene is one that you can jack off to repeatedly…strapons, big tits, ultra wet and noisy sex…ahhh the things that wet dreams are made of. The Annihilation Of Summer gets the first ever five cocks-up given to a chick on chick movie.
Knock Out - Everyone Scores
For as long as tourists have been saving up for sexy vacations, one of the most appealing and travelled to places for hedonistic pleasure filled holidays has always been Brazil…the sexy sights, sounds, and smells of Rio has enriched many a carnal cruise and lust filled holiday. The chicks in Knock Out - Everyone Scores shows us why these Brazilian babes are so well known for their sexy slutty natures and reassure us that even though many things in the world have changed, the slut factor in south american playlands has only gotten hotter if anything.
For anyone who doesn’t know much about boxing, it’s considered unwise at best for boxers to have sex during the week or so leading up to any fight that they are in. But I guess for these guys the temptation when confronted by sluts as full on uninhibited and cock craved as these babes they can throw caution to the winds and get down for some better full on body action. This is an awesome jack-off flick and the chicks are the type of chicks that we watch porn to see. I think they could have had some hot threesome action added but perhaps these boxers didn’t want to share the sweet pieces of ass they were getting to fuck. This one is definitely a watcher folks and Knock Out - Everyone Scores is something that your hand will get to score with too. Four rampant raging-bull cocks-up for this fuckfest.
Love Hairy Beaver
Now if you’re like me you spend wayyyy too much time watching porn and know next to nothing about the upcoming election other than there is a milf named Paladin running for vice-president and because she is hooked up to a guy that’s gotta be older than yoda she will one day become president. This is who will follow Bush for the Republicans…On the other side you have a black guy whose name sounds an awful lot like Osama (yknow…as in bin laden) and a wishy washy charlie brown guy who if they win would also become president because likely there are too many redneck racists around for Mr. Osama Obama to stay alive for even his first year as pres. I’m sure about now you’re all like thank you very much for letting us know what’s going on…but what the hell does any of this have to do with porn except for the Paladin milf. Well pilgrim it all ties together because this movie Love Hairy Beaver reminds us that no matter who wins and becomes the next president at least we can remember that we get to say goodbye to Bush cos Bush sucks.
Hmmm where to start with the comparisons…I know, I will start with the obvious lies at the beginning. Just like the politicians in the Bush camp the lies start straight off with a hairy beaver that has obviously been trimmed or waxed around the bikini likes and trimmed around the pussy lips. What’s up with that ? You couldn’t go find some truly hairy french chick or something ? Next comparison like with the old bush camp…the tension gets higher and with a bitch named Katrina rolling into town and the VP getting known as a psycho things just get uglier..just like in Love Hairy Beaver where we then get a chick that yeah…she has a hairy pussy…but hey, aren’t all dogs hairy ? Finally we get a hot latina slut that obviously loves cock and loves being filmed…the action is hot and getting you off…then BAM the movie ends and once again just like the last eight years with Bushie you end up feeling let down and screwed over. So other than as an abstract metaphorical statement on current politics and what we have had for the last eight years and what we can be grateful to finally have gone Love Hairy Beaver doesnt have much value and gets a generous one cock-up.
